


all of the stars

by ariquitecontrary (ItsAriyanna)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Famous, M/M, Oasis Rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:49:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsAriyanna/pseuds/ariquitecontrary
Summary: Getting the lead in Magnus Bane’s new movie? Easy. Trying not to fall in love with him? Not so much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well. Here we are again. For those of you who are new to Oasis, I originally started writing this story a few years ago. Unfortunately, I lost my love for the story and stopped writing it. I was in love with the plot, but I wasn't a fan of the way I went about writing it. It was something that I always wanted to finish, I knew that, but I also knew that I couldn't do that until I knew I would be 100% committed and ready. 
> 
> And now I am. :) Thank you to the most amazing beta, @softieparker on Tumblr, for hyping me up throughout writing this chapter and being super supporting and loving Malec ( & this fic ) even though you aren't an active member of the fandom. I appreciate you always. <3 
> 
> If you read the original fic, the storyline will pretty much be the same minus a few changes here and there. Likewise, I will be taking down the original fic ( Oasis ) so if you want to keep it, download it now or lose it forever. I'll probably delete it after a week of posting this chapter, so everyone who wants to download it will have a chance. 
> 
> Updates will be weekly unless noted otherwise. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. See you at the bottom. <3
> 
> Title is from Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis.

_A camera is pointed right towards him; a microphone is placed in front of his lips. There’s a man staring at him like he’s just roped the moon._

_“Alec, how does it feel to be an Academy award winner?”_

_The answer is on the tip of his tongue; he’s rehearsed it enough times that he knows the lines by memory. He tells the man the same thing he tells everyone else._

_“It feels incredible. It’s all I could ever hope for.”_

_“You’re such an amazing actor. When did you first figure out that acting was your calling?”_

_“Well, I think it all started when-.”_

“Lightwood!” Alec Lightwood is torn from his daydream by the loud, booming voice of his boss. He turns to look at him and the short, pudgy man is glaring at him. Alec has at least a whole two feet on Mr. Meryl but the tiny man still scares the crap out of him. He just has one of those mean faces and Alec can’t remember a time when he actually smiled at anyone. “Do I pay you to stand around and nod off? Huh? What are you doing back here?” 

“Uh…” He had come to the fridge to get some ice, but it just felt so nice and cool inside that he hadn’t wanted to leave. The Los Angeles heat was starting to get to him and it didn’t help that the cafe’s AC was broken… _again._ “Getting ice.” 

“Gettin’ ice,” Mr. Meryl snorts. “I don’t see a bag of ice in your hands, boy. Hurry up and get back to the front counter! That new guy is a disaster. I swear, you kids don’t know how to make a simple coffee without spilling it everywhere!” Alec watches in slight fascination as Meryl grumbles to himself. He was such an angry little man. Alec wondered how someone so tiny could have so much anger in their body. Meryl stomps off though, leaving Alec by himself again. 

He hasn’t worked with the new guy yet. Apparently his name is Sean or Sal or something with a ‘S’; he hadn’t really been paying attention when Maia was talking about him. Working at the Cherry Tea Room you learned not to really get attached to people. Aside from Maia and himself, the longest a person ever worked here was for a month. People didn’t really stay at the Cherry Tea Room for long and honestly, Alec completely understood. He couldn’t even believe he was still here, but desperate times didn’t allow for much else. Especially not in Los Angeles. He remembered when he had first moved over here. He thought that he’d catch a gig and get his big break, but it never really happened. 

Acting had been his passion from the first time he gotten on a stage during elementary school. He’d known right then and there that he wanted to be on the big screen like all his favorite actors; he wanted to follow in their footsteps and make a name for himself. So he moved to the City of Angels to make his dreams come true. 

It didn’t exactly go as planned. 

He landed a few commercials and even a small role in a Made-For-TV film, but other than that, his job as a host at the Cherry Tea Room was his only source of income. It was a little depressing and sometimes he wondered if maybe his parents had been right when they told him that he wouldn’t amount to anything in the city. He’s been living here for a little over a year and he hasn’t had any real luck; he can’t imagine he will anytime soon either. Sometimes he feels like going back home and working for his dad might just be a good idea. 

With a sigh, he grabs a bag of ice and walks out of the fridge and into the hot air of the cafe. The place is practically deserted and if you asked him, he wouldn’t be able to tell you how they’re even still open. People hardly ever come in here except for a few regulars and the occasional tourist who doesn’t know just what they’re walking into. They had good food, sure, and the tea was nice, as well as the coffee, but they were a hole-in-the wall cafe in the middle of an easily forgettable street. They also didn’t have a very extensive menu. Truthfully, they didn’t have much going for them at all, but they were still up and running so he supposes he won’t complain. After all if this place does shut down then he’s screwed. 

When he walks back up to the front counter, Maia is frowning and shaking her head at a guy with glasses and a shirt that says ‘Trust Me I’m A Jedi’ on it. Alec has to refrain from rolling his eyes already. 

“What’s going on?” 

The new guy startles at his voice and proceeds to drop the cup of tea he was working on all over the floor. Maia groans as he immediately reaches over for a towel to clean up his mess. 

“Are you kidding me? Simon, that was the third one! If you break any more of our cups, it’s coming out of your paycheck!” 

“Well, technically I didn’t break the first cup, the tea just tasted like crap.” He finishes cleaning up the mess and turns to Alec with a grin. “Hey! I’m Simon. It’s my first day. It’s my first hour actually.” 

“You don’t say,” Alec says, unimpressed. “I’m Alec.” 

“Alec,” Simon repeats with the same dorky grin. “Do I know you from somewhere? You look really familiar. Do you go to UCLA?” 

“Uh, no.” 

Simon’s eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure?” 

“What?” Alec questions, amused. “Yes, I’m sure! I think I would know if I went to UCLA.” 

“Perhaps.” Alec shoots Maia a side look at Simon’s words and she just shakes her head, but there’s an amused smile on her face. “So are you guys from here?” 

The next hour is spent with them introducing themselves to Simon which, honestly, they aren’t really able to do. The kid talks a lot, like _a lot_ , and while Alec usually doesn’t mind that, he’s having trouble keeping up with him and his conversations. Alec just nods along to whatever it is that he’s talking about and Maia occasionally gets a few questions in. It makes the time go by a little faster though and Alec’s thankful for that. He gets so comfortable in their talk that he actually perches himself onto the countertop as he swings his legs back and forth and eats one of the croissants they made earlier in the day. This proves to be a bad choice though, as Meryl steps out of his office and starts screaming as soon as he sees Alec. 

“Lightwood!” He yells out, and really, Alec wonders if there’s ever a time when he _isn’t_ yelling his name. “Do you ever actually do anything here or am I really just paying you to sit around and eat my food?” 

“Oh, my God!” Simon yells out suddenly, causing everyone to jump up in surprise before turning to stare at him. “You’re Alec Lightwood! That’s why I recognize your face! You were in that movie, uh… The Neighbor!” 

Alec winces at the reminder of that cliche, low budget film. Still though, he’s a little surprised that Simon actually noticed him. It’s the first time anyone ever has. It’s kind of surreal. 

“Yeah,” Alec confirms, suddenly uneasy. “It was a small part, though. How did you even remember?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Simon’s eyes are completely lit up. “I’m a huge movie buff and I’ll have you know that Lifetime movies are my shit!” 

“Hey!” Meryl yells, looking completely confused by the whole conversation yet still somehow angry. 

“Sorry,” Simon says quickly before turning back towards Alec. “My best friend actually does some acting and we watched that movie together! You stood out to us because you’re so hot.” Alec’s eyes widen and Maia snorts with laughter while Simon’s face turns a shade of red. “Well, not hot, I mean you’re good looking no doubt! Like really good looking, but you know, not my type or anything, don’t worry! Unless… unless you want to be my type? In which case my earlier statement stands and you’re definitely hot.” 

Alec stands there, jaw hanging open and a million thoughts running through his mind. He honestly has no clue what to say, but it doesn’t matter because over Maia’s loud laughter, Meryl is yelling at all of them again. 

“Would you guys just get to work? I swear! Like a bunch of hooligans over here!” He stomps away, back into his office and Alec turns back to Simon who’s still watching him like he’s something special. It makes Alec a little uncomfortable. He’s not used to people staring at him so openly. Most people just don’t do that; he wasn’t anything special, but here Simon was looking at him like all of his daydreams had just come true.

“Wow,” he whispers. “Alec Lightwood!” 

“Yes?” 

“This is so cool! I went and watched a few of your commercials on YouTube too after I saw The Neighbor. Seriously man, you got talent.” 

He thinks back to the commercials he’s been in and doesn’t really see how they showcase his “talent” at all. He’s been in a sports commercial, where he just threw a football, a college commercial where he literally just sat at a table and wrote on a sheet of paper, and one for an Audi car commercial. Nothing great and he actually didn’t have a single line in any of them. Still, he’ll take a compliment where he can get one. 

“Uh, thanks.” 

“Our Alec here is going to be a big star one day!” Maia says with a smile as she waltz over to him and places her arms around him, tip toeing to rest her head on his shoulder. “He’ll be on every big screen from here to New York!” He blushes at her praise, but rolls his eyes. Maia’s become a really good friend of his lately and aside from his siblings, she’s the only one that he’s really told about his acting dreams. Everyone in L.A. wants to be an actor, it’s not really worth saying it out loud anymore. He had half expected Maia to laugh in his face, but instead she just smiled and asked him about any kind of acting he’d done in the past. She told him that he could do it as long as he gave it his all and he believed her; it still didn’t change the fact he hadn’t had any actual luck though.

“I believe it!” Simon grins. He knows that Simon’s this random guy he just met, but the words still make him smile as something akin to butterflies erupts throughout his stomach.

“Yeah, well,” Alec coughs, wanting the attention off of himself, “you said you go to UCLA, right? What do you study?” 

And just like that the conversation is steered away from him. Maia gives him a look before squeezing his shoulders and turning to pay attention to Simon’s story. He knows what she’s thinking without even saying it. _How can you be an actor if you don’t stop being so shy?_ It’s been his one problem. He’s always been a shy and quiet guy. It was a lot worse whenever he was younger and he’s kind of gotten a little better about it, but he’s still not exactly a very friendly and open person. It’s not like he tries to be closed off, he just doesn’t really know how to be open with people. There’s probably some underlying fear of rejection hidden somewhere there, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. Right now he has his best friend and Simon, someone who talks to him like he’s known him for years. It’s not awkward and it doesn’t make him nervous; it’s good. 

.

.

.

His apartment is a mess when he walks into it. This annoys him for two reasons: one, he’d just cleaned it this weekend and two, this means one or both of his siblings are here; something he hadn’t been prepared for. Izzy, because she was currently a student at UCLA and stayed in the dorms there and Jace, because even though they did share this place together, he should definitely be at work right now. 

“Izzy?” He calls out, when there isn’t an answer, he rolls his eyes. “Jace?” He says, a little more annoyed. 

There’s a crash in his kitchen and he walks over to it, not at all surprised to see Jace attempting to pull different ingredients out of his kitchen cabinet. 

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Alec asks as he leans against the bar. A jar of pasta sauce falls out of Jace’s hands and when he turns around, Alec notices the slightly crazed smile on his brother’s face. 

“I quit!” Jace says happily as he picks up the jar and places it next to the noodles on the countertop. 

Alec’s heart drops. “I’m sorry. You did _what_?” 

Jace fully turns towards him, the smile still on his face but not so crazed now. “I quit, Alec. Look, being a busboy isn’t for me and you know it. I’ve been talking to my trainer over at the boxing gym and he told me that he thinks I have potential. He can get me a fight for next month.” 

“Potential?” Alec nearly screeches. “Are you telling me that you quit your perfectly good job at a high end restaurant at the chance that you _might_ be a good fighter? Jace, you can’t be serious!” 

“Well, why not?” His brother looks offended now. “I like boxing.”

“Hitting a bag to get in shape and getting your head bashed in as your career are two completely different things!” 

“So what? You want me to clean up after the rich and famous for the rest of my life? Come on, Alec.” The pasta is long forgotten now as Jace gets in Alec’s face. “I’m not smart like Izzy, okay? And I’m sure as hell not talented like you. I’m not going to get some badass job or have my face on any billboards anytime soon, but I _am_ good at this. I’m good at fighting.” 

“Jace,” he pleads, his heart breaking for several different reasons. Jace isn’t dumb, not by any means, but he’s never cared enough about school. He hadn’t even tried going to college. Alec had always stood by his side and supported his decisions, but he’d never known that the other man was actually feeling like this the entire time. 

“Can you just be happy for me? Please.” 

Alec looks at his brother, at the light that’s still in his eyes, and he knows that he has to be happy for him. Jace has stood by him throughout all of his acting dreams and he even moved over here just so he wouldn’t have to struggle by himself to live on his own. Jace has been by his side throughout everything and so even though he’s scared for his brother and he doesn’t really know what to do with any of this, he still smiles and nods. 

“Sure. Yeah, always.” Jace grins back at him and brings him in for a hug. Alec wraps his arms around him and smirks. “Just tell me when your match is. Gotta make sure I watch you lose.” 

“Oh! It’s like that, huh?” Jace pulls away from Alec with a playful look. “You think you can take me on or what?” He jabs him in the side and Alec laughs loudly as the two of them start wrestling right there in the kitchen. They only stop once Jace puts Alec in a tight headlock that he can’t get out of until he taps out, which makes Alec stomp off in anger as he yells that Jace isn’t playing fair. 

He doesn’t come back out until Jace tells him dinner is ready.

.

.

.

Three hours later, the two of them are sitting in front of the TV, stomachs full and playing an intense game of Left For Dead 2. Jace always makes fun of him for still loving the old game, but Alec’s always had a thing for zombies. He definitely thinks he’d pick zombies over vampires and werewolves any day of the week. 

There’s a knock on their door and Jace pauses the game to jump off of the couch and open it. Izzy stands there with a backpack in her hands and a frown on her face. 

“My roommate is spending some quality time with her boyfriend and I have a huge test tomorrow that I need to study for.” The words ‘quality time’ are said with quotation marks around them and Alec grimaces. She walks pass Jace and tosses her stuff onto the living room floor. “Mind if I crash here?” 

“Do we actually have a say?” Jace questions, earning him the middle finger from Izzy. 

“Of course you can stay here,” Alec says with a glare at his brother. “Jace made pasta if you’re hungry.” 

Izzy’s eyes brighten. “Oh, thank God! I’ve been eating Ramen this entire week and I’ve missed actual food.” 

“Don’t mom and dad send you money?” 

“Well, yeah,” Izzy says as she makes her way into the kitchen, “but I’m trying to live the full college lifestyle.” 

Alec and Jace share a look with each other and shrug their shoulders. Izzy was something else, but they wouldn’t trade her for the world. 

“Did you hear the news?” Alec asks once she’s settled in between them on the couch, a bowl of pasta in her lap. “Jace is going to be the next Rocky Balboa.” Izzy raises an eyebrow at him and Jace scowls in the background. “Yup, quit his job and everything.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Well, yeah,” Jace says, a little too soft. “I like fighting.” 

“That’s not a good thing,” Izzy says with a frown and Alec almost feels bad for throwing him under bus. Izzy’s known for being a bit of a mother hen every now and then. Jace’s mouth opens up, probably to defend himself, but it’s cut short by Alec’s phone going off.

All of them pause and look at the Captain America clock on the wall. It’s nearly ten at night and Alec doesn’t really know that many people; especially not any that would be calling him so late at night. Silently, in his mind, he prays that it’s not work trying to call him in for tomorrow. He really needs his off day. 

He grabs his phone off of the coffee table and nearly drops it again when he sees that it’s Raphael Santiago, his agent, calling him. He shows the phone screen to his siblings and they both immediately sit up straighter. Raphael was an agent mainly for smaller, lesser known actors and he really only took Alec on because the two of them met when Alec was turned down for the role of a side character in a Marvel movie. It had sucked, but Raphael had given him his number and he’s actually the one who gave Alec the role in the Lifetime movie. It hadn’t been a big break by any means, but it was _something_ and Alec was eternally grateful to him.

His hand is shaking slightly as he unlocks the phone and answers it. 

“Hello?” 

“Alec,” Raphael chuckles. “How many times have I told you? Answer the phone like the person calling should be lucky just to have your number.” 

“That seems a bit conceited.” 

“Always so proper,” he huffs. “Anyway, are you sitting down? I think I might have something for you.” 

“You might?” He asks, but his heart is beating so hard against his chest that he feels like everyone can hear it. 

“I do. I have a friend and he’s about to start casting for a new movie. He owes me a favor and I mentioned your name to him and he said he’d be willing to have you come in for an audition.” 

“Really? That’s great!” Izzy and Jace get closer to the phone, trying to listen in to the conversation. “What movie is it?” 

“Oasis. You know, that novel that everyone’s been freaking out over. You read it?” 

“Oasis!” Izzy whisper-yells as she hits him in the shoulder. Even Jace looks excited and Alec knows why. Oasis was _the_ book to be reading right now. Everyone was reading it and everyone was recommending it to their friends. It had been a breakout success by a first time author and everyone had been hyped when the talk of a movie was mentioned. Alec hadn’t known that it was actually happening though. He supposes they’re trying to keep it as quiet as possible for now. 

“Um, yeah,” he says, a bit dazed. “But… are you sure? I mean… it’s Oasis. That’s a big thing. Do you think I’m ready? I don’t know, Raph. Maybe I should sit this one out.” He knows that this movie will be a blockbuster hit and the thought scares the shit out of him. He’s not sure if he’s ready for that and he’s not sure if he can handle the pain that the rejection will bring. He thinks it might actually break him. 

“You could,” Raphael hums as an afterthought. “But I think you’re ready. If you turn this down, you’ll never forgive yourself. Besides, I can promise you that the director is a really good friend and he’s nice. He’s actually really excited to meet you.” 

“Oh,” Alec breathes. “Who is it?” He’s sure it’s someone that he won’t know, but it’s nice to ask anyway; at least he’ll have a name to go by and Google later.

“Magnus Bane. You heard of him?” 

Alec’s heart stops as the phone slips out of his hands and onto the carpet under him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec freaks out, makes a call, and meets Magnus Bane.   
> In that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback! Seriously, every comment I got on the first chapter made me smile so big. :) I'm so glad that you guys like this (rewritten) story! 
> 
> As always, thanks to Ten for being the best beta ever. 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter. <3

Alec scrambles around to grab the phone off of the carpet where it lays face down. He can hear Raphael calling out his name through the line and he forces himself to calm down enough that his shaking hands won’t make him drop it again. 

“Yeah,” he says as Raphael is halfway through his middle name, “yeah, I know who Magnus Bane is.” 

A good question would be: who _didn’t_ know who Magnus Bane is? Even if you weren’t a huge movie buff, chances were you still knew of the extravagant director. He was rather young, only in his thirties, and he’d already made his way amongst legends like Spielberg and Bay. To be casted in one of his movies, especially one as big as they were planning Oasis to be? That would be a goddamn miracle for his currently near-nonexistent career. Even if it was just as a side part, this was the opportunity of a lifetime and he knew he had to take it. He just had to.

“Are you interested in going in for an audition? I can send you a snippet of the script they’ll be rehearsing.” 

He pauses and tries to collect his own feelings, scattered as they are. He can’t even feel his own heart beating because of how unreal all of this is, and both Izzy and Jace punch him in the shoulder, urging him to hurry up and say something instead of standing there like a bumbling idiot.

“Yeah,” he rushes out, “of course!” 

“Great,” Raphael says, literally _hearing_ Alec’s smile in his voice. “I’m glad to hear it, Alec. I have high hopes for this.” 

“I bet you say that to everyone,” he jokes, but he can’t ignore how jittery he feels right now. 

“Only when I mean it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” He pauses and then clears his throat. “Goodnight, Alec. Goodnight, Jace, Isabelle.” Izzy and Jace look at each other in confusion, not knowing how Raphael knew they were there. Laughter floods throughout the line. “You guys pack a hard punch, I could hear them as soon as they landed. And Isabelle? Your whispers are my screams.” 

“Shut up,” she says playfully, louder now that she knows he’s aware of her presence, and Alec rolls his eyes. 

“Goodnight, Raphael,” he calls out before hanging up the phone. 

As soon as he puts the phone down, his siblings are screaming simultaneously. 

“Are you kidding me?” Jace yells out. “Oasis? Oasis?! Dude, this is fucking huge! This could be _it_ , Alec. Holy shit!”

“I knew you’d get your big break soon! I knew it was just a matter of time.” Izzy throws her arms around Alec and squeezes him. “I’m so proud of you!” 

“Proud of me?” He laughs even as he hugs her back, feeling himself finally take a breath. “I haven’t gotten the part yet, Iz. I haven’t even auditioned yet! We don’t know what’ll happen.” 

“Yeah we do,” Izzy and Jace say at the same time. “You’re going to kill the audition,” Izzy continues. “And then I’ll be able to say my brother was in Oasis. Imagine how awesome that would make me!” 

He laughs loudly. “Gee, I hope I get a part in it. God forbid you lose the popularity points.”

“Right?” She jokes. “You’re always thinking about the greater good!” 

His heart still feels like it’s racing way too fast and he isn’t sure if this is actually happening or if he’s just imagining it all in his head. He figures it doesn’t matter anyway. If this is a dream, it’s a damn good one and he hopes he never wakes up from it. 

.

.

.

Raphael ends up sending him a link to the script whenever he’s at the grocery store the next day. He nearly runs his basket into an old lady who’s in the bread aisle with him. She glares at him and he gives her an apologetic smile, but she just keeps frowning as she quickly speedwalks out of the aisle and away from him. He would feel bad, except he’s basically holding a piece of the script for Oasis in his hands and he feels like he needs to sit down or else he might pass out. 

Instead he dials Izzy’s number. She picks up on the second ring, of course she does, and lets out a huge sigh. 

“I was in the middle of lecture,” she scolds, “this better be important.” 

Alec’s face reddens. He’d completely forgot that Izzy had class today and he immediately feels like shit. “Why’d you answer the call? Izzy, go back to class!”

“I would never miss one of yours or Jace’s calls,” she says fiercely and she even sounds a little bit offended. “Besides we only have five minutes left, I’ll be fine. Now what’s up?” 

“Raphael just sent me the script,” he says quickly and Izzy lets out a loud squeal that has him grinning again. “Yeah. I don’t know, I’m scared to open it.” 

“We can open it together,” she says quickly. “I can go over? I’ll help you practice the lines! Did Raphael say when the audition would be?” 

“Yeah,” he says, remembering the date at the bottom of the email. “It’s on Wednesday. I don’t know if that’s enough time.” 

“It is. I’ll be there in an hour, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

They hang up the phone and Alec disregards his basket of food right there next to the Wonder Bread as he darts out of the grocery store. 

He sits in silence for the entire drive home; feeling completely anxious. He’s officially come down from the high of this whole audition, and the void left by his joy has been filled with the most twisted of fears that his mind can conjure up.

He’d never felt like this before, not whenever he was doing his Audi commercial or when he was being filmed for his Lifetime movie. Those times he’d always been excited and eager to meet everyone and to prove himself to the world. Now though? Now he wishes he was back in another car commercial. He feels unequipped for all of this and the underlying fear of being laughed at was ever present in his mind. 

Alec’s mind goes back to every time he’s seen snarky comments online about actors and celebrities. He’d always laughed at them in the past, seeing them as harmless. But what if they were _about him_ if he got the part? He doesn’t know if he’s ready to be catapulted front and centre, thrown to the vultures like that. He considers cancelling this whole thing for a second.

Working with random directors he’d never heard of was fine, he could do that. But working with someone as big as Magnus Bane? That was nerve wracking. He’s never been near anyone that famous in his entire life and even if he had been, he’s sure they still wouldn’t have been anything compared to Magnus Bane. He kind of wishes he was working with Steven Spielberg now, or some nobody. Maybe he’d feel like less of a mess if he was. 

He’s not even sure why he’s so nervous at the possibility of working with Magnus Bane. It may be the fact that he’s always admired the man and how he was so unapologetically himself, something Alec always wished he could be. Maybe it was the fact that Alec used to watch interviews of the other man back when he was still acting. He’d watched them and wished that he could be as energetic and open as the other man was. All of this just feels way too surreal to him and he’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even realize when he pulls into the parking garage of his apartment complex. 

Izzy’s car is already in the parking lot and when he finally does reach his apartment, she’s throwing open the door before he can even take out his keys. 

“You know, sometimes I feel like you should definitely be paying rent,” he says as he walks inside and she snorts. 

“I pay you in the occasional dinner and my company, which honestly? My company should just be enough for you.” 

“Of course.” 

“So?” She draws out whenever he slowly makes his way over to the couch. “Where is it? Show me!” She bounces down next to him and her energy makes the excitement he’d been waiting to feel himself finally show up. Izzy was one of the few people he could count on to always calm him down and bring him down from whatever bad thoughts he was having. 

He unlocks his phone and opens up the email. He’s hyper-aware of Izzy leaning over his shoulder so she can read the text better and once again, he finds her presence a godsend. Maybe she’s right, he thinks to himself. Her company is more than enough for right now. 

He opens up the attachment and his eyes scan over the script. He can’t believe this. He actually has a part of the script for Oasis in his hands. Izzy lets out a little squeal as she squeezes his arm in excitement. He looks at her and grins widely before looking back at his phone. 

“I remember this scene from the books,” Izzy says in awe. “It’s the part when he first says that he wants to travel like he was always supposed to with his brother.”

Right. Oasis was known for being a tearjerker. The main character, Ian Evans, loses his entire family in a plane crash when they were on their way to see him play his first college football game. He spirals downward before deciding that he’s going to do everything he ever promised his family he would; the first being traveling abroad like he alway said he’d do with his younger brother. It’s an emotional read, one that focuses on death and rebuilding yourself from the ground up. It would be a tough role to land and actually play convincingly, that’s for sure. Alec thinks if he’s lucky he’ll play some small part like another football player or a random student. He supposes anything would be okay. 

“This is intense,” Izzy whispers. “I couldn’t even imagine trying to put myself in these shoes.” She gives Alec a smile after saying the words. “I know you will, though.” 

“You think so?”

“Of course. Now come on, give me your best brooding look!”

He rolls his eyes at her before rolling his shoulders back and reading the lines off his screen.

.

.

.

“You’re joking!” Maia screeches when Alec tells her the news the next day at work. She’s grinning from ear to ear and he’s pretty sure he looks the exact same way. “Alec, why didn’t you text me to tell me this last night? Oh, my God!” She punches him in the arm and he laughs despite it actually kind of hurting. He’s starting to think everyone has a thing for punching his arms. 

“I wanted to wait until I could tell you in person,” he says. “I had to see your face.” 

And what a sight it is. She looks just as excited as Jace and Izzy had and it makes Alec feel the rush of nerves all over again. 

“What part are you going for?” 

“I don’t know,” Alec answers honestly. “I guess any part would be fine really. Raphael just said that the director offered to give me a chance, I suppose it all depends on which part he thinks I’d be good in.” He doesn’t say that he really, really hopes he gets the lead of Ian. He knows that kind of goes unsaid though. After all, what actor wouldn’t want the lead in a movie? But he decides against voicing his thoughts at all. At least when he ultimately gets rejected, he won’t have to look at Maia’s disappointing face. She believes in him way too much and if he didn’t get the lead, he’d feel like he was letting down her as well as himself. He’d feel like he was letting down _everyone_. Himself included.

Maia nods, smile still on her face. “So you’ve told everyone?” 

“Yeah; Jace and Izzy, of course. They were there when I got the call.” 

“Mhm,” Mais hums out, the smile fading as she looks at him a little bit more serious. “That all?” He sighs because he already knows where she’s going with this. 

“I haven’t called my parents if that’s what you’re asking.”

“And why not?”

“You _know_ why.” 

Things with his parents were complicated. He didn’t exactly have the best relationship with his dad; he never did, and his mother… well, she was his mother. They’d been close when he was a child and then somewhere along the line she started expecting too much of him and he just couldn’t live up to her expectations. He loved her with everything inside of him and he would drop everything and anything for her, but he knows how she feels about the whole acting thing. He just knows that she won’t care. 

“That’s not fair,” Maia says with a frown. “At least your mother, Alec. She’s your _mom_. She’d want to know.” 

“And she will. Just not right now, okay? Right now I don’t even know if I’ll get a part. Right now I just want the three closest people to me to know and they do. That’s alright with me. If this goes anywhere, I’ll give her a call.” He gives her a gentle smile, hoping she’ll ease up. For a moment she looks like she might not and then she’s shaking her head and smiling at him. 

“Alright, Lightwood. So, you got an outfit planned yet?” 

“Shit.” 

.

.

.

In the end, he ignores Maia and Izzy’s options of brightly colored shirts and jeans so tight that he feels like they might rip if he turns the wrong way. Instead he decides to wear a plain black shirt with black pants that he can actually breathe in. Everyone rolls their eyes at him, but he ignores them. Raphael said to dress comfortably and confidently and well, there was something about the color black that made him feel both. Besides, isn’t black supposed to be a classy colour? 

“You’re nervous,” Raphael says from his seat next to Alec in the car. “Stop being nervous.” 

“Excellent idea. I wonder why I didn’t think of that earlier.” 

“Now you’re being sarcastic. At least it isn’t nervous.” 

“The nerves are still there,” Alec says as he looks out of the window. The city looks beautiful right now as the sun shines down on it brightly. “Raph-.” 

“Stop.” Raphael looks at him, serious as always. “I know you’re worried, but you’ve done this before, Alec.” 

“Yeah, but it’s different this time.” 

“Why?”

“Because it’s an _actual_ movie with a director whose won Oscars. Who are some of the other actors going up for the main role?” It’s a question he hasn’t had the guts to ask. He doesn’t want to know who his competition is, because then he’s going to know that he won’t have a chance in hell of getting the lead role. The way Raphael purses his lips kind of confirms that. “See!” 

“Stop,” Raph repeats and then shakes his head. “Look, Alec. Are you going up against some big names? Yes, but guess what? That is not a unique experience and if you think it is, you’re walking in there with the wrong attitude. People work for what they want and this is no different. You’ve always told me you wanted to star in a blockbuster. You said it was your _dream_. I took you on because I _believed_ you. Well, guess what? This is your chance. Make them believe it. The same way you made me.” 

He opens his mouth to protest, but Raphael won’t let him. 

“You have to at least try.” The stern look drops and Raphael’s eyes soften. It’s not a look that Alec’s used to seeing on him. “If you don’t get the part then guess what? We’ll keep trying. It won’t be the end of the world, okay? You and I, we’re a team, and I swore I’d be by your side until we got your name out there. You won’t lose me if you lose this part.” 

The words send relief through Alec and it’s only then that he realizes that he’d been secretly fearing the idea of Raphael letting him go. It was one thing to manage someone that you knew was going places, but Alec was currently working at a cafe that has him feeling like the only awards he’ll be winning are for the world’s worst coffee. He hadn’t had any real acting work in a while. He’d just been waiting for Raphael to see that. 

“Thanks,” is all he says, gentle and low, “for not giving up on me; for thinking of me for this role.” 

“Well, it is my job. Besides, when you do land this role, you can finally pay me back.” Raphael grins over at him and Alec laughs loudly. It’s the most at ease he’s felt throughout the entire ride. “Glad you’re feeling better, ‘cause we’re here.” 

He looks back out the window, towards the building that has people hovering outside of it. There’s girls and guys dressed to the absolute max. Some of their outfits look like exactly what Alec would think the characters would be wearing and he suddenly wishes that he had dressed a little differently. He wipes his palms against his jeans and looks down at his way too worn out black combat boots. 

“You look fine,” Raphael promises. “You don’t want to be going in there as someone you’re not. There’ll be enough of that whenever you get the part.”

“You have a lot of faith in me,” Alec laughs, a bit hysterical. “If I don’t get this role, I hope you know I’m going to need you to buy all of the Ben and Jerry’s that my sad ass will require.” 

“Of course. Now come on, we’re late.” 

It’s weird, he thinks, as he opens up the door and steps out onto the pavement. No one turns to look at him, way too invested in going over their lines, but yet he can’t stop looking at all of them. There’s a guy wearing an actual sweater that has the word ‘Gucci’ written across it and loafers with the same red and green stripes. They literally scream, _“I know I’m better than you.”_ He’s wearing sunglasses and frowning at a person who’s standing in front of him as he holds onto a piece of paper in his hands. 

“That’s Brady Williams,” Raphael says as he catches where Alec’s attention is at. “He comes from money. Can you tell?” 

Alec doesn’t answer. Instead he looks at a girl who’s wearing a short tight dress and heels like the ones Izzy wears. He wonders if her feet hurt. He knows that Izzy’s usually start to hurt after a few hours. 

Raphael continues to lead him through the crowd of people and Alec frowns, confused. 

“Shouldn’t we get in line?” Alec asks as he looks back. The line is long as it wraps around the side of the building and to be honest, Alec isn’t looking forward to standing in it. 

Raphael snorts though. “Yeah, right. Magnus would never make me wait in a line that long.” 

“How are you guys even friends?” Alec knows literally nothing about Magnus, but the guy always seems to be really energetic and happy in the interviews Alec has seen before. Basically, he’s the exact opposite of Raphael. 

“I’ve known him for nearly my whole life,” Raphael says. “He’s like family.” Alec wants to ask him more, how they met and when, but before he can, Raphael is opening the door to the building and pushing him inside. 

It’s a lot quieter inside here than it was outside and it’s a lot more organized too. Aside from the two of them, there’s only five other people in the room. They all have their faces down as they read over the scripts they were given. One of the boys sits on the ground with his back to the wall, slumped over a small stack of paper. It must be the script. Alec panics. Should he have printed the script too? Is he going to look unprepared or unprofessional?

“You been practicing?” 

“Yeah,” he says quietly, a little dazed. He’s practiced so much over the past few days that he feels like he knows the script by heart. That’s a little reassuring if anything. 

“Good,” Raphael nods. “Because I’m about to go talk to Magnus.” 

“ _What?_ ” Alec nearly screeches. “No! No. Isn’t he with someone? Come on, lets just sit down and wait.” 

“It’s two o’clock,” Raph says. “That’s what time I told him we’d be here.” 

“I’m not ready,” Alec rushes out, his heart racing as he rings his hands together. “Raphael, I’m not… I don’t think I can do this.” He thought he’d have a little bit of time to talk himself into this. Or a lot of time. He’s known about the audition for give or take, 48 hours. He wasn’t planning to just come in here and do it. He wishes Izzy were here. He wishes his mom were here. He wishes someone were here to hold him and tell him “Alec, you can do this.” Unfortunately, the only person here is his manager and his competition. And Raphael isn’t paid enough for that.

Raphael walks forward and Alec reaches out and grabs hold of his arm. 

“Wait,” he says. “How much time do I have?” 

Raphael looks at him weirdly. “Probably ten or fifteen minutes? They’ll need to get ready for you and set things up. Why? Don’t you want to use this time to rehearse a little more?” 

“No. No, I’ll be back.” 

And then he’s whirling around and rushing towards the hallway that has the word ‘restroom’ written above it. He throws open the door and locks it behind him as he leans against it and takes a deep breath. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He doesn’t have her contact saved, he deleted it once after an argument assuming he’d never need it again. But he has it memorized anyway, how could he not? The numbers feel a little unfamiliar, but Alec can’t help but feel a bit at ease when he presses call. 

It rings for a while and for a few seconds he’s scared that she won’t pick up. If she doesn’t pick up then he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to do this. 

“Hello?” 

Her voice sounds just as he remembered it. It’s soft and gentle, yet strong and commanding; exactly the way his mother was. Immediately, he feels like he can breathe again. 

“Mom.” 

“Alec? What’s wrong?” 

It’s a weird question to ask, but he gets why she does. Alec hasn’t called her in months. Of course she would assume that he’d only call her because something was wrong. He feels even worse because that’s exactly why he _is_ calling. When he takes a little while to answer, she speaks up again. 

“Are you okay, Alexander? What’s going on?” 

“I got an audition,” he finally whispers out, his voice shaky. “Raphael got me an audition.” 

His mother is silent and he closes his eyes tightly, trying not to cry. If she’s not supportive right now, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He thinks he’d rather had her not answer the call instead of being unsupportive. 

“Mom,” he starts again, but she cuts him off. 

“Is it for a movie?” 

“Yes.” 

“Which one?” 

“Oasis. You know, the book.” 

His mom hums out and Alec waits for her to say something. 

“I liked that book,” she finally says. He racks her voice for some kind of emotion, but she still seems a little bit like she’s stonewalling him. He hangs on anyway. “Are you going for the lead role?”

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” 

“No,” and then his voice is breaking. “I don’t think I can do this, mom. It’s not a stupid commercial or some low budget movie. It’s the real deal and Raphael went through all this trouble just to get me an audition and I don’t think I can do it. I mean, who am I kidding? I have no right to even be here. I’m going to let everyone down. I’m not good enough for-.”

“Alec,” she says sharply and for a moment he’s scared that she’s going to tell him to stop bothering her with this. “Breathe.” 

“What?” He asks. 

“Breathe.” 

He hasn’t even realized that his words were coming out rushed and all mushed together. He looks at himself in the mirror and his chest is rising quickly and it’s only then that he notices just how bad it hurts. He runs a hand over his red eyes and does as his mother said; forcing himself to breathe in and out for a few seconds until finally he doesn’t feel like running out of the room and back to the car. 

“Now, listen to me,” she says, “I don’t want you to ever think that you aren’t good enough for whatever it is you want in life. I know I haven’t been the most supportive mother when it came to your acting, but Alec, I have _never_ been disappointed in you. You have never let me down, I don’t even think you’re capable of it. I believe in you and I know you’ll do your best. If you get this part, then of course I’ll be proud of you, but even if you don’t, I will still be proud of you.” It’s the first time in a while that she’s told him she’s proud of him. In fact, he tries to remember the last time she ever told him that, but he can’t remember. 

“Why?” He asks, voice still shaking, but not as bad now. “If I don’t get the part then I’ll have failed.” 

“No. No, that’s not possible. You got this far and that’s good enough. If you don’t get this part then guess what? You just keep trying. There will be more movies and more chances. It won’t end here for you. I refuse to believe that. And the next time you do get your chance, I’ll be right there by your side. I’m sorry that you felt like I wasn’t.” 

“I didn’t,” he starts to say but stops, because the truth is, he had thought that. 

“It’s okay,” she says softly, already knowing. “But I want you to know that I’m always proud of you, darling. There’s no way I couldn’t be.” 

“Thank you,” he whispers, smiling. He feels like there’s really nothing else he could say. He could tell her he was sorry, but he doesn’t want to do that. He feels like she already knows, because she always knows everything. So instead he says what he’d been feeling for a while. “I miss you, mom.” He hadn’t realized just how much he _has_ missed her, but now that he’s talking to her again, it hits him hard. 

“I miss you too,” she says. “Tell you what, if you get this role, I’ll fly out there and we can celebrate. And if you don’t get it? I’ll still fly out and we’ll still celebrate, because no matter what happens today, I’m still going to be proud of you.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding, “okay.” 

“Now go out there and get that role.” 

He laughs. “I love you, mom.” 

“I love you too, Alec. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” 

He nods. “Okay.” 

They hang up and he takes a deep breath as he looks at himself in the mirror one last time. He looks a little disheveled but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. His hair doesn’t look as flat and in place as it had whenever he left the apartment this morning, the aftermath of running his hands through his hair so much just now, and he thinks he looks a little more like himself now.

He smiles at his reflection and then turns around and exits the restroom. Raphael is pacing back and forth in the waiting room and as soon as he sees Alec, he rushes over to him, eyes narrowed and a look of worry over his face. 

“Are you okay? What the hell just happened?” 

“Nothing,” Alec smiles. “I’m ready.” 

“Are you sure?” Raphael asks, the worry still etched in deep. “Alec, if you really don’t want to do this then just tell me. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you _had_ to. It’s okay. I’ll understand.”

“No. No, I’m ready,” he promises. “Let’s do this.” 

“You sure?” Raph asks again, not quite believing him. 

Alec thinks back to his mother’s words and he smiles. 

“Yeah. I’m ready.” 

“Alright,” Raphael says and Alec can see the moment that he finally relaxes too. “Then let’s go introduce you to everyone.” 

He leads him down the hallway and Alec feels like everything and everyone else around him disappears. All he can see is the door at the end of the hall; the one that’s opened slightly, a silent invitation. He can hear voices coming from it and he forces the feeling of butterflies rising in stomach back down. 

“You’re going to be great,” Raphael says as he squeezes Alec’s shoulder. He hadn’t even realized that they’d stopped just outside of the room, Alec’s feet refusing to move any further. 

“You think so?” He asks, voice shaking once again. He looks over at Raphael and the other man is just smiling at him. 

“I know it. Now come on.” 

He all but pushes Alec into the room and as soon as he steps into it, he feels himself go still. 

There are two people in the room. It’s silent for a moment as they look at him and Alec slowly raises a hand up to wave. 

“This is Alec-,” Raphael starts, but he’s cut off by the man sitting at the end of the table. 

“Lightwood,” the man finishes. “The… commercial boy, was it?” 

Alec’s face goes red, but before he can say anything else, the beautiful woman that’s sitting at the other end of the table, elbows the guy in the side. 

“Play nice, Ragnor.” 

“The upcoming actor,” Raphael corrects with a glare. “Lovely as ever to see you, Ragnor.” 

“Pleasure.” 

Alec looks between the two men and wonders what the hell is going on there. He didn’t know that Raphael knew anyone in this audition other than Magnus. 

“I’m Catarina Loss,” the beautiful dark skinned woman says. Her voice is sweet and soft and it reminds him of his mother. The way she smiles at him makes him feel a little better. “This is Ragnor Fell,” she says as he mentions to the man who had referred to him as the ‘commercial boy’. Ragnor looks at him for a second longer before smiling and nodding at him in greeting, looking much more friendly now. 

“Hi,” Alec says before clearing his throat. “I’m Alec Lightwood.” 

“And I’m Magnus Bane.” 

Alec whirls around in surprise at the voice and pauses as soon as he sees him. 

Where Ragnor and Catarina are dressed professional, with a side of comfy, Magnus is dressed exactly how Alec would have thought. He’s dressed in tight bright blue pants with a leather button up shirt and a blue and silver flowered print suit jacket. Alec doesn’t think he’s ever seen a leather button up shirt before, and he’s sure it would look absolutely ridiculous on him but it looks good on Magnus. His hair is spiked up and the tips are a blue color that match his outfit. It looks interesting, even though it shouldn’t. They were in Los Angeles and people wear their hair much crazier than this, but Alec can’t help but look, intrigued. 

“Magnus,” Raphael speaks up, knocking Alec out of his little daze, “nice to see you.” The two of them hug and Alec waits until they pull apart. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” he rushes out as soon as Magnus’ attention is off of Raphael. “Thank you so much for agreeing to have me.” He extends his hand and Magnus smiles as he takes it, shaking it carefully. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Alexander,” Magnus says and Alec doesn’t even think to correct him on the use of his full name. “Thank you for coming. Raphael’s told me quite a lot about you. We’re all very excited to have you here.” He pulls his hand away and walks over to the table that Ragnor and Catarina are seated at and sits right in the middle of them. “Now, let’s begin, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! They make me so happy. <3
> 
> As always, feel free to come talk to me on Tumblr @herondalelesbian.   
> See you next week. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!  
> And feel free to come talk to me on tumblr @herondalelesbian. :)
> 
> Until next week. <3


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